as the world turns so does the fighting

i dont see the need with the constant fighting. it seems like thats the only think that ever goes in my house or the acting like were a happy picture perfect family. thats not us. were not the brady bunch or anything like that. everyone is fucking blind and i dont get it, but i guess walking around blindly would be better then actually seeing the distruction of this world.

my weeks been almost like this
i havent barely slept in 2 weeks
i get maybe 2 hours of sleep a night and thats it

my grandma keeps saying that we need to cut back on food and stop throwing leftovers out but it seems like the only stuff were throwing out his her stuff.

im told i dont sit or eat like a lady at the table let alone use my fork and knife right and i need to learn by october for my uncles wedding.

i had to work today and they kids i was watching are pretty much deamons. i mean we walked half a mile the first hour i was there alright fine with me so we came back and i starting drinking another cup of coffee and james decied that he wanted to go to the park. so i said that later we could walk down there well of course hes like no were going now even thought i said we werent and i had to chase him down and i mean i walked the first half and frabbed his arm and started to pull him towards home and he got loose and ran back to the house so im running to caught up with him and ashley is lollygagging behind me complaining about her not having her shoes on and steping on the rocks(mind you i was barefoot too and running over all the rocks.) so i told her to shut up and get back home as im still running trying to get to the house. 2 minutes later im at the front door and james locked us out. so i had to act like i was calling his dad for him to unlock the door. we get back into the house and im about to pass out from running. i'm so out of shape its not even funny. ashley is complaing about being hungry and wants me to do her makeup and i got the fucking dog laying on me(this is a saint bernard not a small dog)

that was life at work and tonight at dinner i got the usual "you need to eat more" blah blah blah shit so like i was eating and my grandma goes sit up straight ladies dont hunch over when they eat and then she goes your hold your knife and fork wrong you really need to learn to be a propur lady before octorber becuase were eating at a fancy resturant for you uncles wedding. honestly how many people are gonna look at me and go oh those fox's are lower class because there granddaughter doesnt know how to hold a salad fork. now i would understand if we were like royalty and were haveing some huge ball or something but were not. honestly i think im uncle would just be happy with me showing up i mean hes the one whos always telling me if you can't have fun your not living. oh and now i was just told that i HAVE to wear a dress but its ok for the guys to wear nice shirts and blue jeans. does this make any since to you because it sure as hell doesnt for me

maybe im just in a sour mood today and this is all right in some world

i think i need to start therapy again
im getting to that point again

As summer comes down to an end...

Its time to reflect on what we've learned this summer boys and girls

for one never trust your cousin when he says just try it you wont get shit faced and that might possible be the grestest lesson of all. another good thing is that german rap is so much better then american rap! I know what your thinking german rap? what the fuck is this shit? well it actually isnt bad at all. Maybe its the fact that you dont really know anything there saying but its pretty great.

I've had my own problems that ive dealt with and what not. I found a new amazing local band that i will now support just as i do violets for verona. by the way violets for verona is looking for a new lead guitarist and well if your in the livonia westland area and would like to get in a band with a good fan base set up hit me up and ill tell them about you. School started on the 3 and now im sitting here looking at my class list. its your basic list of science, math, english and history with the choice of 2 electives, buts its also a reminder that i'm one step closer to getting the hell out of michigan. you may be wondering whats so bad about michigan? well almost everything is. after high school i'm going to alabama. why alabama when i can possibly go tons more places in the us beucase in alabama they have the university of alabama which i will be attending. i'm determined to get into there and work my ass off the be a great nurse.

thinking about stuff now other then the conserts and whatnot the two greatest things that happened to me all summer was seeing my best friend kayla more then i have in a while. I honestly don't know what i would do without her in my life. we've been best friends for 8 years this september and we've never had a fight. were two of the most diffrent people but were exactly the same. if a stranger looked at us on the street and you could see our diffrences that person would have no clue how we manage to be best friends. kayla compared to me in an angel and i'm the devil. she is the anti-whore and i am the whore.

the second greatest thing to happen was falling in love. yes love. and i couldnt be any happier then i am now. Jake is all responsible for that. I love it. I love him. I love how hes always what im thinking about even if i dont want to be thinking about anything at all. he's amazing at that. i love when he calls me just to tell me he loves me or the way he calls me cutie even thought i tell him all the time he has it wrong. he pretty much completes me.

I've lost contact with a good friend. Will. You possible read the post about be waking up surrounded by tears becuase it the year since we broke up. Looking back on that now i feel like a complete idiot. withing the 2 years ive known will hes changed. from what ive heard hes always drunk and always getting high. deffinatly not my cup of tea(which sounds kinda nice right now). We got into a fight about a week ago. It started off with him telling me that i shouldn't dwell on the past when i confronting him about not keeping his promise to be my friend, my best friend at the least. he had every right to tell me to stop dwelling on the past but i also had every right to bring that up. one thing let to another and i told him when he overdose's i'm going to laugh. I somewhat regret saying that but it came out. earlier today will told me he was sorry and he really wanted to keep in contact with me and asked for my number. I told him it'd be better if we lose all contact and it be like we didnt even meet at all, sadly that cant happen due on the fact he had such an impact on my life. We shared stories, laughs, and tears and somehow that all helped me get to where i am today

My friend alex on the other hand i cant find the will to let him go as a friend, i honestly dont have any reason to other then the fact he dissapears alot. i worry sometimes like when hes back for a couple months and then hes gone for 6 but now im used to it. its how alex works. maybe one day when im down in alabama well meet up or maybe we wont but he'll always be my kurt cobain and ill always be his amy lee. thats how our crazy minds work and even if i dont see him down in alabama i'll see him when we get to that big nirvana concert else were where kurt cobain is waiting for us =)

i dont blog nearly as much as i should

It kinda sucks i mean i started this for a reason and now im like barely one it. well up dates from my last post Kayla and I went to see Tokio Hotel at the Filmore and I can't even explain how amazing it was. Heres how the 12th started. Kayla and I got up at like 6 and decied that we need coffee to get the day going, so we bugged her mom to make us coffee(which she did) and kayla decied that she was in the mood for pancakes and bacon after out first cup of coffee. Now i love kayla but the bacon was like burned and the pancakes just tasted funny but after that we had her mom drop us off at K-Mart on the way to work and we bought powerade, lifewater and these nasty pretzels. Her mom dropped us off about 12 and we met up with this other chick kayla and we all sat outside for like 4 hours until tokio hotels tour bus showed up then of course we all rushed over there and then Gustav gets out and he was rushed right it. poor guy. its like hes the beaten puppy dog of the group. if you've never noticed please look at mr.gustav schafer next time. its almost like tom and bill go if you speak we will beat you with frying pans and he goes ok i wont talk *hides in a corner* that or he is a man of few words. i personally believe he gets beat by the guys. then were all standing around for a half hour waiting for Georg, Tom and Bill to come out about a half hour later all 3 of them get off the bus. Tom walks nonchalntly into the door as everyone is screaming for him then Bill comes out and this is when i lost all composer and started screaming. He looked right at me and kayla and waved and Georg followed fastly behind him. 4 more hours went by and we were in the crowed waiting, just waiting for this band i spent close to $80 on. at 7:30 they came out and everything was all fine and dandy. Jessica and Racheal were next to me and Kayla was like far the hell up there and the crowd was killing us so like kayla and i went to the back of the crowed and we were jumping and screaming and everything. Then they came out with by your side. I litterally started crying becuase i thought of Jake the whole song. It was amazing. I never thought a song could do that. after that they did that oh that was the last song thing but i knew they'd be comeing back out but i didnt care kayla and i had to get to the bus which we did. Kayla got Gustav autograph and i sadly didnt but i touched Tom and Georg smiled at me. do i have proof? no but i also dont have proof that zacky vengence waved at me and thats true. lol but kayla and i didnt go to the signing =/ but it was ok.

my hair no longer has green in it its now red. not like christmas red but like dark arbun aka my natural color =)

im happy about that

well tomorrow is an early day so yeah

what an eventful week

hello blogger world!!!
how is everyone on this hot teusday?
I'm doing amazinly excellent
as of sunday i am no longer a single women =) and i'm damn proud. kayla and i are going to see tokio hotel on the 12th and hopefully meeting them on the 13th at the mall so thats going to be cool. ive just been chillin for the most part. some old friends have added me on the space and its been cool talking to them again its pretty much re-connecting. well this is all i really have to say for not
secret life of an american teenager is on tonight =)